I’ve spent more than a decade supporting new mums and their families through those first few weeks and months after birth. Over the years, I’ve witnessed the joys, surprises, and complexities of postnatal life—and one lesson has come up time and time again: Rest is an essential cornerstone of recovery and wellbeing. If you’ve recently welcomed a baby (or are about to), you might find the concept of “taking time out” easier said than done. After all, your new family member needs around-the-clock care, and you may feel an overwhelming desire to be on top of everything at all times. But I’m here to gently remind you that your own self-care, especially rest, is absolutely non-negotiable. This is not a luxury or a sign of laziness; it’s a fundamental part of healing, bonding, and thriving in this new stage of life.
Below, I’ll walk you through why rest matters so much in the postnatal period, how self-care can look different for every mum, and a few practical ways to carve out that all-important downtime, even when life feels busier than it ever has before.
Understanding the Importance of Postnatal Rest
After giving birth, your body and mind embark on a significant period of adjustment. Hormone levels shift rapidly. You may still be recovering from the physical challenges of labour—whether that involved a straightforward vaginal birth or a complicated caesarean. Beyond that, the emotional highs and lows of new motherhood can feel like a rollercoaster ride.
In my time providing postnatal support, I’ve often seen mums who feel they have to be “supermum” the moment they return home from hospital. They might try to keep the house immaculate, entertain visitors, respond to every message and phone call, and care for their baby round-the-clock—all while still recovering physically. While it’s perfectly understandable to want to be on top of things, I always encourage mums to look at rest as an investment in the future. The more you let your body and mind recuperate now, the stronger and healthier you’ll feel in the weeks and months to come.
Research also backs up the importance of postnatal rest. Sleep deprivation is linked to an increased risk of postnatal depression and difficulties with milk production. Even beyond that, a body that is not well-rested is more susceptible to infections, exhaustion, and overall burnout. Rest lays the groundwork for better mental health, a more robust immune system, and a calmer approach to bonding with your new baby.
The Mental and Emotional Toll of Sleep Deprivation
One of the first things many new mums mention to me is the impact of sleep deprivation on their emotional wellbeing. Babies are wonderful bundles of joy, but they certainly do not arrive with the same sleep schedules as adults. Night feeds, changing nappies, or simply responding to your baby’s cues can drastically disrupt your normal rest cycles.
Without proper downtime or enough sleep, it becomes difficult to regulate moods, focus, and maintain perspective. Little tasks that would usually feel manageable might begin to seem monumental. You might find yourself more tearful, anxious, or overwhelmed in moments you’d typically handle with ease.
By prioritising rest, you give your mind a chance to recover. Even short naps or moments of peaceful quiet can have a soothing effect, recharging your emotional batteries. Think of it like plugging your phone in when the battery is running low—you’ll have more mental capacity to be fully present with your baby and handle life’s inevitable ups and downs.
The Physical Benefits of Proper Rest
Physically speaking, your body is healing in multiple ways during the postnatal phase. Whether you had a natural delivery, needed stitches, or underwent a caesarean section, the body requires energy and care to recover. Hormone levels fluctuate as your body adjusts from pregnancy to postpartum, your uterus contracts back to its original size, and your muscles and tissues gradually repair themselves.
Adequate rest allows the body to direct resources—like nutrients and energy—towards healing. When you’re sleep deprived, you may notice heightened pain, slower recovery from any injuries or strains, and a reduced overall sense of wellness. On top of that, if you’re breastfeeding, your body is working overtime to produce milk, which demands additional energy. Getting enough rest is directly tied to supporting your milk supply and maintaining a healthy balance in your postpartum hormones.
Why Postnatal Self-Care Is Non-Negotiable
I often remind mums that “You cannot pour from an empty cup.” If you’re stretched thin, running on fumes, and neglecting your own needs, it’s much harder to be the parent you aspire to be. The good news is that postnatal self-care doesn’t have to be complicated or time-consuming. It’s not about spa days or big gestures (though those are lovely if you can manage them!). Instead, it’s about small, consistent moments of nurturing yourself. That could be enjoying five minutes of quiet with a cup of tea, taking a warm shower while someone else cuddles your baby, or listening to a favourite song that reminds you to breathe deeply.
The reason I call it “non-negotiable” is because, without these moments, exhaustion and emotional strain can build quickly. When you prioritise self-care, you’re ensuring that you’re physically and emotionally equipped to give your baby and family the best version of yourself. It sets a precedent that your wellbeing matters—and it does. We sometimes believe we must put our own needs aside once we have children, but in truth, caring for yourself is a vital part of caring for them.
Common Obstacles to Rest—and How to Overcome Them
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Guilt: Many mothers feel a pang of guilt for resting, as though they should be doing something “more productive.” Try reframing this: Rest is productive. It’s part of the healing process. Without it, both you and your baby will feel the strain in the long run.
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Unsupportive Environments: Perhaps family or friends unintentionally downplay your need for rest by urging you to “get back to normal.” In these cases, a gentle but firm reminder that you need space and time to heal can help. Let them know how they can support you, whether that’s bringing over a cooked meal, helping with household tasks, or simply giving you privacy to rest.
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Lack of Boundaries with Visitors: It’s lovely that friends and relatives want to meet your new bundle of joy, but too many visitors can quickly become overwhelming. You’re well within your rights to set visiting hours or ask friends to wait a few weeks before dropping by. Your recovery and your baby’s routine come first.
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Feeling Overly Responsible: The sense that every aspect of baby care must be done by you can take its toll. As your postnatal support, I always encourage delegating tasks and inviting partners, grandparents, or close friends to help. Let someone else pick up groceries or do the laundry. Freeing yourself from these obligations, even temporarily, can provide the precious respite you deserve.
Practical Ways to Prioritise Rest
1. Nap When the Baby Naps
This classic advice is repeated often for a reason—it works. While it’s tempting to use every moment of your baby’s sleep to catch up on chores, try balancing that approach with the occasional rest. Even if you don’t fully drift off to sleep, closing your eyes and embracing a state of relaxation can do wonders.
2. Delegate and Accept Help
If there’s ever a time to accept offers of help, it’s now. Allow a trusted friend to come around with a meal or watch the baby while you lie down. If you have the resources, consider hiring postnatal support. Having an extra pair of hands—even for just a couple of hours a day—can provide essential rest breaks and peace of mind.
3. Set Realistic Expectations
Focus on essentials rather than non-urgent tasks. For instance, it’s fine if the house isn’t in showroom condition every day. Taking the pressure off yourself can alleviate stress and free up mental space for restorative rest.
4. Create a Soothing Bedtime Routine
Just as babies benefit from a predictable bedtime routine, so do you. Even if your own bedtime is erratic, incorporating small rituals—like changing into cosy pyjamas, dimming the lights, or listening to calming music—can signal to your brain that it’s time to wind down.
5. Embrace Mindful Moments
In addition to sleep, restful moments can be about quiet reflection or simple mindfulness. Try taking a few slow, deep breaths while you feed your baby. Notice the rise and fall of your chest, the warmth of your baby, and the calming environment you’re creating. These micro-moments help you reset amidst the busyness of early motherhood.
How Postnatal Support Can Help
As someone who has provided postnatal support to countless families, I’ve seen how transformative it can be to have a dedicated person focused on your wellbeing. It’s not just about practical help (though that’s certainly beneficial)—it’s about creating an environment where you feel nurtured and can prioritise your own rest and healing.
When I work with mums, I offer everything from emotional support and light household tasks to basic infant care and companionship for medical appointments. The goal is to ease the load and provide reassurance, allowing you to take moments of rest without feeling the weight of a never-ending to-do list. It might be as simple as me making you a warm drink, holding your baby while you have a shower, or offering a listening ear when you need to chat about how you’re feeling. These small gestures can accumulate into a powerful form of self-care, enabling you to regain energy and confidence.
Cultivating a Rest-Focused Mindset
One thing I often emphasise is that the postnatal period is not a time to keep score of accomplishments or maintain a hyper-productive schedule. Rather, it’s a short, precious window of healing, bonding, and transition. By intentionally shifting your mindset to value rest, you send a strong message to yourself and to those around you: “My health and wellbeing matter. This is a vital part of becoming the best mum I can be.”
It can help to look at the situation from your baby’s perspective. A rested mum is more present, patient, and emotionally available. Your baby benefits from a calm and stable environment, and that environment often depends on your own emotional and physical state.
Final Thoughts
If you’re reading this because you’re in the thick of the postnatal stage, know that it’s normal to feel as though life has been turned upside down. The transition to motherhood—whether it’s your first child or your fourth—brings so many changes in such a short span of time. There’s no magic formula for making it all run perfectly, but I can promise you that prioritising rest will ease many of the challenges.
See self-care not as an optional extra, but as a powerful tool for healing, growth, and bonding with your baby. Lean on your support network, whether that’s family, friends, or professional postnatal support. Communicate your needs openly. And when those feelings of guilt creep in, remind yourself that taking care of yourself is an investment in your family’s wellbeing. Rest truly is the foundation upon which you can build a healthier, happier, and more sustainable postnatal journey.
Thank you for allowing me to share my perspective. Even if just a small part of this resonates with you, I hope it encourages you to lie down, take a deep breath, and give your mind and body the rest they deserve. You’ve already done something incredible by bringing a new life into the world. Nurturing yourself now is a way to continue that incredible journey with strength, peace, and confidence.